I told my mom she looks like Red here and she said “I am a badass bitch in the middle of some cuties.”

(via clementine-season)

Ahhhh the woman who did my nails these last two times is so cool, she’s like that badass friend your older sister might have who always sounds a little sarcastic and has badass nail designs and hair styles and is just super cool so you want her to think you’re cool too

trcunning:

earthdad:

ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog

I can’t beat Miss Piggy in a fight. She’s very strong and knows karate.

(via sweaterbitches)

Went to Dutch oven my girlfriend and she farted out of fear. So I guess we’re both the losers here.

Fancy breakfast (immediately followed by ice cream cones)

jean-luc-gohard:

What fucks me up about the Darren Wilson fundraiser is that he hasn’t been charged with a crime. He doesn’t have to hire a lawyer. He’s on paid leave, so he’s not losing wages. This is not covering his expenses, because he doesn’t have any additional expenses. This is a reward. He’s getting a $250,000 reward for murdering an unarmed black kid, two days away from starting college, in broad daylight.

(via yeahicameback)

Y’all, this McDonold’s has a piano! #classy

smileandfocus:

Can I study here everyday please? 

smileandfocus:

Can I study here everyday please? 

(via writingnotebooks)

Wisdom from the GF

GF: when we get our bun-son—
Me: wait. Why would we get a boy bunny?
GF: so we can name him “Burner”!

lesbipoet13:

adeathwaltz:

Does anybody else get really excited when they see another gay person in a normal place? Like I was in the grocery store today and saw this cute lesbian and I’m just like running back and forth with my cart in front of the produce like HEY LOOK AT ME I’M GAY TOO LOOK AT US BEING QUEER IN THE SUPERMARKET LETS BE FRIENDS. 

Gay people literally act like dogs when they see other dogs.

(via paintthepapertown)

tony-the-intelligent-goon:

ashiibaka:

Science.

I can’t tell what my favorite part is, but it’s either
scientists wasting budget and time to see if ants count their steps
the idea to put ants on stilts
there had to be a guy who made ant stilts and put them on the ants
confused ants

tony-the-intelligent-goon:

ashiibaka:

Science.

I can’t tell what my favorite part is, but it’s either

  • scientists wasting budget and time to see if ants count their steps
  • the idea to put ants on stilts
  • there had to be a guy who made ant stilts and put them on the ants
  • confused ants

(via sweaterbitches)

@instylemagazine, it’s bad enough there’s only one page for plus size fashion in your magazine, but why cut off the model’s face so that she’s just a clothing horse instead of a full person?